雅思大作文范文分析-同意与否类

今天的优选范文是一篇同意与否类的犯罪话题的题目，题目有一定的难度，和我一起来看一看吧。

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

题目翻译：一些入狱的人后来成了好公民，一些人认为这些人是和青少年谈论犯罪危险的人选。你是否同意？

构思：

同意：犯罪者（criminals/offenders） - 犯罪/改造经历（experience of rehabilitation）- 更有说服力（more convincing）。青少年对老套的教育方式可能会无动于衷（be in different to）- 犯人自身的故事讲述更有吸引力（story telling）

不同意：犯罪者过度讲述犯罪细节（be constrained by details of committing crimes）可能会适得其反（be counterproductive）。

考官范文（观点-彻底赞同）：

It is true that ex-prisoners（prisoner-犯人） can become normal, productive members of society（对good citizens的改写-此改写为具体化，抽象形容词具体化）. I completely agree with the idea that allowing such people to speak to teenagers about their experiences is the best way to discourage them from breaking the law. （开头：一句改写+一句表态）
 
In my opinion, teenagers are more likely to accept advice from someone who can speak from experience. Reformed offenders can tell young people about how they became involved in crime, the dangers of a criminal lifestyle, and what life in prison is really like. They can also dispel（动词：驱散，消除） any ideas that teenagers may have about criminals leading glamorous（注意此词可以用来形容-富有魅力的（人），另人向往的（事物）） lives. While adolescents are often indifferent（adj.-漠不关心的，对…不感兴趣） to the guidance given by older people, I imagine that most of them would be extremely keen to hear the stories of an ex-offender. The vivid and perhaps shocking nature of these stories is likely to have a powerful impact. （主体1段-论证为什么是的方式：观点+解释/举例+好处）

The alternatives to using reformed criminals to educate teenagers about crime would be much less effective.One option would be for police officers to visit schools and talk to young people. This could be useful in terms of informing teens about what happens to lawbreakers when they are caught, but young people are often reluctant（不情愿做某事） to take advice from figures of authority. A second option would be for school teachers to speak to their students about crime, but I doubt that students would see teachers as credible sources of information（有效的，可信的信息-我们在写科技类-网络的弊端时也可以使用） about this topic. Finally, educational films might be informative, but there would be no opportunity for young people to interact and ask questions. （主体2段：论证为什么其他方式不是的：列举方式+反驳）

In conclusion, I fully support the view that people who have turned their lives around after serving a prison sentence（此处地道词组搭配） could help to deter teenagers from committing crimes. （重申观点）