0411-3990-9951

雅思大作文范文分析——犯罪率降低的原因

作者: 2020-05-11 16:49 来源:大连编辑
收藏

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advances in technology.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

翻译:由于技术的进步,现在的犯罪率比过去有所下降。你在多大程度上同意或不同意?

话题:犯罪类

类型:同意与否

分析:

大家看这个题干本身是一个因果关系:The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advances in technology.  原因是科技进步,现在社会中先进的科技,结果是犯罪率和过去相比有所下降。 我们需要在文中表达出是否同意犯罪率降低是由科技进步带来的。

如果同意,则需要说一说科技为什么可以降低犯罪率,可以举一些例子。如果不同意,则需要说明科技可能有一些作用,但真正帮助降低犯罪率的其实是xx(比如教育)。

估计有同学会想,这科技和犯罪率有什么关系呢?

不知道大家有没有听说过CSS课堂呵护系统。

这是一套通过采集学生信息并加以处理后辨识出学生上课状态的软件。任何走神,打瞌睡,小动作都会由系统迅速通过表情及行为捕捉到做出判定。这些上课状态的信息最后会被总结好,推送给家长及老师。正可谓是校园版的“犯罪测量”。

有没有觉得背后冒冷汗 真的是幸亏毕业早啊....

这可以说是科技在甄别人类行为,动机方面的初步使用。而实际上,科技预测犯罪的系统已经被人类开发利用。

IBM等公司都在积极研发此类产品,而最负盛名的当属PredPol了,目前覆盖了美国上百个地区警局的PredPol,其原理即对以前的犯罪率曲线,和不断发生变化的犯罪时间,地点等数据进行大数据分析。因此推算出哪个街区犯罪事件高发、哪条街道抢劫事件较多、哪个时间段城市比较危险。

警署则可以通过这些提示性信息来规划调整巡逻时间及路线,更加科学合理的防控。

(aids in the sharing of information at a rapid pace- enabled state authorities to track the offenders and maintain the law and order )

除此之外,我们可以看到安装了很多摄像头(surveillance cameras重点单词背诵下来)的城市,治安都会好一些,因为知道自己在被监督时,人们就会比较自律。

(If people are aware of being monitored, not only will they obey the rules but also refuse to get involved in such crimes. )

当然,犯罪率的下降,绝不能完全归功于科技。政府政策的变化也会带来一些效果,比如加大警力(introduce more police forces,注意此处动词使用,用的是introduce, everywhere to monitor people’s activities and stop them from committing crimes)。或者是对罪犯进行更严格的处罚(Strict punishments on criminals can have really preventive and deterrent effects on all age groups in society.)

分析到这里相信大家多少有些思路了,咱们来一起看一下今天的精选范文

范文分析:

It is often argued that  global declines(此处指数量下降) in crime are principally down to (好词组,请看文后词汇解释)developments in technology. While advanced technology admittedly plays an integral(adj必不可少的) role in crime reduction, I would argue education hits more directly at the cause of crime.

(开头段:背景引入+引出下文)

(注意:下一个段落中,紫色的词汇不必掌握,理解即可)

The biggest argument in favour of technology’s impact is the advent of forensic(法庭的;与法庭有关的;用于法庭的) science. In the past, forensics was an unreliable soft science that included notoriously(众所周知地,恶名昭彰地)mistake prone (adj倾向,倾向于)practices(此处的意思为:众所周知,过去的“法庭科学”容易出错,在应用过程中出现过多次错误) such as a dental identification and blood splatter (血迹)analysis. Over the last couple of decades it has grown into a much more accurate tool. Courts now rely heavily on DNA testing, which is nearly 100% conclusive(好词,见文后词汇解释) in most cases. This has had a two-fold effect, allowing prosecutors(n.检查官)to reopen and investigate cold cases as well as better prosecute and deter current criminals.

(主体1段:这一段是在论证科技在犯罪率降低中发挥的作用,以在侦案中的使用为例子,对例子进行了展开论证,使用了今昔对比。
大家看我标黄色的部分,为今昔对比的词汇及需要注意的时态点,前面是过去时,后面是现在完成时过度到一般现在时,科技类考题常用今昔对比,大家在书写今昔对比时可以进行仿照。

这一段同样例子展开的比较充分,论据细节处理比较好,但实际上我认为大家考场上写出一样或类似的例子比较难,因为他使用的法庭技术对应的词汇都比较不常见,很难说备考的时候背到这些词,考场上还能想到用出来,所以我们实际一点,大家不必纠结于这一段中的词汇使用,我在段落中帮大家标紫了,紫色的词汇不必掌握。大家在自己书写时可以换成其他的例子,比如我们前面学到的监控器等,也同样可以写的很精彩。

然而本段还是很重要,因为大家需要学习巩固2点:1.今昔对比 2.例子的具体展开方式:给出例子-分析例子-指出后果/结果)

However, education still more powerfully underpins(serves as the basis for) decreases in crime because it does more to eradicate (好词,见文后词汇解释)poverty. Poverty is far and away the chief cause of(…的主要原因 )crime. Take for example a country such as China, which has developed rapidly in the last 30 years, elevating(=lifting) millions formerly below the poverty line. Their economic rise has been followed by better educational standards which has trickled down into better employment opportunities for graduates. The crime rate in China has plummeted(decreased greatly大幅下降) simply because far fewer people have the basic motivation, poverty, to commit crimes.
 
(主体2段:除了科技以外的其他因素-主要讲教育的影响。逻辑是教育减少贫困,贫困问题得到解决,犯罪率降低。举了中国的例子。

我们分解一下这一段举例子的方式:Take for example a country such as China给出例子, which has developed rapidly in the last 30 years, elevating millions formerly below the poverty line结合论点. Their economic rise has been followed by better educational standards which has trickled down into better employment opportunities for graduates解释例子. The crime rate in China has plummeted simply because far fewer people have the basic motivation, poverty, to commit crimes. 结合论点指出结果 我们看这两个主体段其实在做论证时采取的是同一个结构:结合论点给出例子+ 结合论点分析例子+结合论点给出结果 这样的结构可以帮助将例子分析透彻,避免了评分标准中所说的overgeneralization,值得借鉴学习。)

In conclusion, the impact of technology is negligible(little impact/meaningless) next to educational reform, which undermines the deepest roots of crime. Forward-looking countries that prioritise(动词:给予优先权)education will also reap benefits(get advantages from获取到好处) that extend well beyond (not limited to绝不仅仅局限于犯罪率降低,还会收获其它的好处) the crime rate.

好词:

1. be down to: If something is down to something else, the second thing is the cause of the first. 表达因果的好词,A is down to B. A 归因于B, B是A的原因, 比如此文中即为:declines in crime are down to developments in technology,犯罪率下降应归因于科技发展

2. Conclusive: 形容词,proving sth, and allowing no doubt or confusion结论性的;不容置疑的;确凿的(conclusive evidence/proof/results)-

同义词:decisive   反义词:inconclusive

常见搭配:

动词:appear/be/seem + conclusive

副词:absolutely/ fairly/ + conclusive

by no means/ far from / harly +conclusive

3. Eradicate:动词:sth (from sth) to destroy or get rid of sth completely, especially sth bad 根除;消灭;杜绝
同义词:eliminate

搭配:

副词:completely/entirely/ successfully

动词:try to/ help tp /be impossible to + eradicate

介词:eradicate from

词组:an attempt/ effort to eradicate sth

好句式:

1.  It is often argued that  

2.  The biggest argument in favour of  xxx   is  xxx

3.  Xxx that prioritise xxx will also reap benefits that extend well beyond xxx.

例句:

Countries that prioritise developing economy will reap benefits that extend well beyond earning money.

  • 品牌简介
  • 名师团队
  • 课程中心
  • 精品项目
  • 在线测试
  • 校区地图
热门活动

注册/登录

+86
获取验证码

登录

+86

收不到验证码?

知道了

找回密码

+86
获取验证码
下一步

重新设置密码

为您的账号设置一个新密码

保存新密码

密码重置成功

请妥善保存您的密码
立即登录

为了确保您的帐号安全

请勿将帐号信息提供给他人/机构