很多同学们在准备托福独立写作的时候都会在某个时刻进入一个瓶颈期:四级词汇和托福词汇背了,语法没明显漏洞了,所谓的模板或“套路”也背得滚瓜烂熟了,为什么还是19-21分呢？独立写作拿一个good就那么难吗？
那么,我们现在就来分析一下,同学们眼中自己“就算不是完美的也是极好的”作文,和ETS眼中的作文到底差距在哪里？
首先,我们来回顾一下ETS的独立写作scoring rubrics。
实际上,通过观察大量备考时间超过3个月的同学们,我们会发现他们往往能够较好地拿捏住、三、四条标准。换句话说,如果你能够保证审题准确、内容不自相矛盾、有一些逻辑过渡词(Moreover/However等)、且保证较高的拼写准确性和语法正确性,那么你很容易就能够达到20分上下,也就是一个fair。
那么,如许多在fair档漂浮了许久的同学所困惑的一样,fair到good到底是差在哪里呢？
其实,到这里问题的答案已经很明确了:第二条标准没有做到,即同学们的中间段并没有真正地展开到位。
请大家注意到第二条标准提到,一个中间段除了有观点point外,还需提供explanation, exemplification and/or details来支持这个point。也就是说一个中间段的大体结构是:
独立写作如何突破瓶颈
在确定了中间段结构后,更为重要的一件事是明确explanation、exemplification和detail分别指什么。
Explanation:
韦氏词典中对explain的解释是
“1) to give the reason for or cause of sth;
2)to show the logical development of sth ”也就是对某事的因果解释或因果推理。
换句话说,当我们给出一个point后,我们需要解释这个topic sentence发生的原因(cause)或者它导致后续结果(further effect)。
在确定了中间段结构后,更为重要的一件事是明确explanation、exemplification和detail分别指什么。
Explanation:
韦氏词典中对explain的解释是
1) to give the reason for or cause of sth;
2)to show the logical development of sth ”也就是对某事的因果解释或因果推理。
换句话说,当我们给出一个point后,我们需要解释这个topic sentence发生的原因(cause)或者它导致后续结果(further effect)。
Exemplification and/or details:
在提出point和explanation后,一个好的作者往往会提供具体贴切的例子来证明自己的观点和因果推理的有效性和真实性,从而增加说服力。
比如在上述解释后,我们可以给一个
“My high school English teacher, who majored in Applied English Linguistics at Beijing University, learned how to design game-based English speaking classes, how to create video flashcards, and how to teach grammar for communication purpose. Thus, by applying what he learned in class, he succeeded in kindling students’ passion for learning English and improving their proficiency in English speaking.”的实例来证明我们观点和推理的合理性和真实性。
而一个好例子不仅需要有效地论证自己的观点,还需要包含具体细节(如how to design game-based English speaking classes,how to create video flashcards, and how to teach grammar for communication purpose)
加入了合理的因果解释和具体的例子细节支撑后,一个发展清晰的中间段就形成了:
College education is good for our future career, because in college we will know some fundamental theories, advanced technology, and recent discoveries which can help us solve real-world problems in the workplace. For example, my high school English teacher, who majored in Applied English Linguistics at Beijing University, learned how to design game-based English speaking classes, how to create video flashcards, and how to teach grammar for communication purpose. Thus, by applying what he learned in class, he succeeded in kindling students’ passion for learning English and improving their proficiency in English speaking. Thus, receiving high quality college education lays a solid foundation for students’ future work by equipping them with necessary knowledge and skills.
现在,我们来看一个20分学生的写作片段:
To begin with, going to college is good for students’ future. It is evident that students can find a decent job, if they have been to college. Besides, no one can deny that people who do not get the bachelor’s degree will eventually be eliminated by the society. For example, recent researches by a couple of prestigious institutions have also repeatedly demonstrated that most of students who graduate from college will succeed in the future.
这个片段的语言没有硬伤,也符合基本发展结构(Point-explanation-example),但是他在explanation部分并没有对前文做出真正的因果解释,而是只是换种说法重复前文内容;在example环节,他尝试用调查研究来做例子,但却没有提供关于研究过程和内容的任何细节,自然也无法说服读者。
因此,本段能够体现出作者具有一定的语言基础,但却不是一个合格的论证段落,这个学生也因此止步在fair档。
综上所述,独立写作如果想从fair上升到good,我们除了需要拥有良好的词汇和语法基础,还需要具备一定的写作论证技巧,包括如何做因果推理和如何提供具体的例子支持。
